Need
by Yuki Scorpio
Summary: What is the difference between the Tezuka people see, and the Tezuka they don't? Why is he the leader he is, and what if...


Inspired by the episode where Tezuka practices his right arm all night before having a match with Echizen. I've stuck to him going to Kyushuu rather than Germany though.

**Need**

When asked about Tezuka Kunimitsu, some people would say this: he is the student council president, the captain of the tennis club. He is charismatic, determined. Those who share his goal would follow him without a single word of complaint; those who do not, never stay in the tennis club for longer than a week.

Some people would say that Tezuka is stoic, that he seldom smiles. They would say he is economic with his words, never wastes a single step on the courts, and there is a certain odd grace to his movements.

These people would be correct. This is the Tezuka Kunitmitsu they see.

But these people never question what they see.

---

One last point. One last point. The ball bounces and comes back to his hand. He looks up and he doesn't see the crowds, not even his opponent. He sees one spot in the corner of the service court across the net and knows that is where his service must land. 

Tezuka's shoulder is hurting. He feels it and Atobe knows it. He needs this serve to ace and Atobe is probably thinking that this won't be possible, no one can ace him because he is Atobe. Not even Tezuka can do it, and not with that arm.

Tezuka isn't sure which it is, if he has overestimated his own willpower or underestimated the damage that sends a searing pain through his soul the moment he lifts his arm. His grip loosens and the racket falls, and he hears his name being called. But he tells everyone to stay back and fights on. Because this is everthing.

This is all that he has.

---

And then everything is lost.

---

It'll be okay, they all say. Seigaku has advanced in the tournament, and Tezuka's arm will heal given time. Nothing can ever cripple Tezuka Kunimitsu, simply because he is who he is. He is going to come back stronger than before. No one ever doubts, no one ever questions.

---

Tezuka leaves the hospital but he doesn't go home. Sitting in the playground he watches the local children play tennis, and remembers when he used to do the exact same thing, and how once Inui and him sat down on the same bench, and Inui asked him why he played tennis. Inui said he didn't know anymore. 

Tezuka never answered the question. But he did know why.

---

What is Seigaku without Tezuka Kunimitsu? 

Still the same. Always the winning team.

Nothing changes.

---

Ooishi writes to Tezuka asking for advice, and the others write to say the mother-hen syndrome has gotten worse than ever, but they are actually doing very well so don't worry, Tezuka.

Occasionally someone would ring him and say that it's a bit lonely in school without him. Through the phone Tezuka can never tell if the words are said with that ever-present smile.

---

He wonders.

And he hopes.

---

He remembers once, not that long ago, when he flew with his family to Switzerland. There was something wrong with the air pressure in the plane cabin and those yellow masks no one thought they would ever see apart from in the safety video were dropped in front of them. Help yourself before attending to your children, the video always says.

When they finally arrived safely and his father decided to climb the Matterhorn, Tezuka gave it his all just to keep up. Such a mountain would be difficult even for experienced climbers, but Tezuka made it to the top simply because the sight of his parents putting on their own oxygen masks first never left his mind and he knew if he couldn't keep up, no one would have stayed for him.

Would any loving parents actually put themselves before their children?

---

The thick stack of bills sits neatly on the nightstand. It is a simple hospital room, like any normal hospital room, in Seigaku University Hospital in Kyushuu. In the weeks he spends there, he has learned the faces of every person who walks through his door. No one touches his money but Tezuka doesn't really care, if it's gone he can get more with the card his parents gave him. 

He can leave soon. He has called home to tell them this. Their response is short, shorter than Fuji's "That is great. It's really getting a bit lonely here."

He wonders.

---

Tezuka has chosen the evening flight back to Tokyo. He goes home by himself. The house is dark when he gets back.

---

And he stops hoping.

---

Despite the doctors giving him the all-clear, even Ryuzaki doesn't question when Tezuka says he needs a bit more rest. They assume Tezuka will be back in time for the National Tournament. It is his dream afterall. He just wants to make sure he is in top form for the tournament. Some suspect that Tezuka is having some private coaching and doesn't want to show them the results until the right time comes. This is Tezuka Kunimitsu afterall.

And even if Seigaku goes to the Nationals without Tezuka, they'll be fine. They had done it in the Kantou, they can do it again.

---

Tezuka's hands haven't touched a tennis racket since coming back.

Sometimes he looks down at the courts from the windows of his thrid floor classroom, and thinks he sees someone turning to look up at him.

It is not possible to notice those blue eyes are questioning, at such a distance.

He wonders.

---

One day, Tezuka decides he isn't going to go home.

He sits through the night on the park bench, clutching his phone. It doens't ring at all.

He goes home early morning because he realises he hasn't got all the books he needs for next day's lessons.

---

Fuji looks mildly surprised when he sees Tezuka at the roof during lunch time. Tezuka gives a slight tilt of his head. Fuji shakes his head with a smile and stands on his toes, leans forward, putting fingertips into Tezuka's hair, brushing it as if playing with it.

Tezuka blinks, then flinches in surprise. Fuji pulls back and smiles triumphantly at Tezuka's face as he holds up a strand of white hair.

---

The house greets him with its silence when he returns home. He doesn't look at the dark, empty hallway and instead focuses on taking off his shoes.

He doesn't say "I'm home" because no one will reply with "welcome back".

---

They don't ask him anymore, after a while, when he will go back to the tennis club. Tezuka and tennis are inseparable. One day he will be on the courts again, when his arm is good enough. Never nag him, never worry about him, otherwise one just ends up running laps.

---

Tezuka doesn't look out of his classroom's windows anymore.

---

He doesn't dare to hope.

---

He waits, tilting his head towards the hand in his hair. It is half a minute before he realises it isn't the hand that is searching for something this time, but the blue eyes just inches away from his face.

He is about to step back when Fuji asks him not to move away, because he hasn't found what he is looking for yet.

So Tezuka stands, leans into the touch as fingers comb his hair with a gentleness he has never felt before in his life.

---

The rumour goes, around the tennis club, that Tezuka is secretly practicing. The theory is that he wants Ooishi to overcome his leadership problems, so he is staying away from the club. He is refining on some technique that he doesn't want anyone to know right now. Tezuka always practices in huge amounts at nighttime, when no one is looking, that was how he mastered the drop shot and how he damaged his elbow in the first place.

But Tezuka's hand doesn't hold the tennis racket at night. It clutches to the phone which never rings.

---

The National Tournament is drawing closer day by day. Finally Ryuzaki asks Tezuka if he can play in the tournament.

Tezuka doesn't answer, and Ryuzaki sighs a little before smiling and telling him not to worry, Seigaku will win.

---

He whispers "I'm home" just to find out what the words sound like from his lips.

He puts his glasses aside and sits on the bed. Then he lays down, across the bed, and closes his eyes, his phone in his hand.

It doesn't ring.

He opens his eyes again when he hears small sounds at the window. He ignores it but the noise gets louder, as if the glass is going to break. Finally he gets up and looks out, not having bothered with his curtain, to find Fuji throwing small bits of gravel at his window from the street below. He wonders why Fuji doesn't ring him, but opens the window anyway. He hopes.

Fuji invites him to a tennis game. In the middle of the night. But it doesn't matter what time it is does it, as long as they want to play.

Tezuka doesn't know what to say. Fuji smiles a bit and says that he wants to play with someone who can have a proper game with him, and Tezuka is the only one who can do that. He needs to be defeated every now and then and Tezuka is the only one who can do that.

Tezuka blinks. Without thinking he walks to the closet to get his tennis bag. He doesn't bother with his glasses or getting changed.

When he opens his front door Fuji is standing outside. Tezuka stops wondering when slender fingers comb his hair again.

Fuji smiles, and whispers, welcome home.

-end-


End file.
